Take Two
And insane, as I have aged has reached a new level of understanding, but that is for later. Ok here I am at 3-5 and learning lessons that I would never understand till I was older. Well maybe lesson is not the true word for what I have gone through at this time. Three was when I can really say is my earliest remembrance, the time I realized I was. I started seeing and then my brain started like a tape and I started to begin Memories!!!! Now trying to remember how I felt at the time is funny because I think I kind of do. Fascinated, really it is what comes to mind when I go back and look at it. Just like a sudden wow. Wonder is another way to say it. I was amazed at life. So here I am as I write this trying to remember what was the first thing that happened at that time to make me feel that way and I cannot for the life of me remember. So I hope the sense of wonderment that I believe I remember is true, it sure feels that way. So what memory do I have which comes to mine. There are a few that are seeming trying edge to the lead. Hmmmm. one is aunt Bernice’s and uncle Joes place, a few acres in what was the best place ever to grow up in, Staten Island in the fifties, So close to Manhattan and Brooklyn we got all the latest music on the radio and still country enough that we roamed the woods without fear. We would stay out till it was dark then we would hear our parents, or who ever we were staying with call our names to tell us to come in. Man it was a truly wonderful time. So easy, peaceful and incredibly enriching in so many ways, my brother and I playing for hours on end. That’s where I learn to make up stuff to do. We would play so many made up scenarios it would go on for days, we would take up where we left off the next day in our made up world and got so good at it we would even start making up rules over it and then argue over the application of the rules we made up to our little world we invented. The air was clean the water clear. Fresh vegetables, fresh fruits even the meat was not tainted yet. It was grain fed animals, chickens, beef and any other beast was unscathed by science yet. Our farmer’s fields were just starting to come into using pesticides and chemicals to grow food. But in our little community it had not happened yet. Staten Island was pretty secluded, having only the Ferry to and from Manhattan as the only from access the other five boroughs which included Brooklyn, Bronx and Queens. We also have three bridges to New Jersey which was our access to going even to greater places like Pennsylvania and Connecticut which was even more incredible in its pristine abundance of nature. So as we were growing up in our earliest time my first memories are of a great deal of exploration in the woods. And they are the predominate ones that I smile as I remember them. Now comes the hard parts, I remember also the chaos in the middle of my young times that would come to devastate these times of peace and ease I was enjoying. We were very broke at the time but my parents, and as they were finding their way in life, were having trouble with just simply living together. The fights were extreme to the point of violence, arguments turned to fights. Here I am fresh into realizing life and life is already beating the crap out of me. Having this to deal with at such a young age was weird to say the least. On one hand seeing life even as young as I was as easy and fruitful and watching those who I loved dearly being so unable to get along. So much I can say here, so much I can write to this because it was so overwhelming to my brand new life. They would fight then separate then get back together then fight then do it all over again. Man it was tough for me and my brother, never knowing what to do but wanting to fix it and finding ourselves so unable to. But even in the midst of this I found great family to find comfort in. We would either be at Joe and Bernice’s or Pops and Nanas house. Where we would be dropped off as my parents attempted to work it out. My first memory of seeing someone stand with me was my Uncle Joe, I was in kindergarten and had won an award for something which I cannot remember and they wanted my father with me when I accepted the award at school. And I remember when I was told he could not make it being so sad that I would have no one and having Uncle Joe tell me the day before he would take me and stand with me. That memory still brings me to tears even as I write it down, I remember when I got my award, which turned out to be a casserole dish, don’t ask. J But the knowing he was there with me has stuck with me all these years. He helped me so much it is hard to say. I remember going to the farmers market with him to pick up fresh fruits and vegetables and on the way back he handing me a fresh tomato and said eat. I look at him confused, like really just eat it like an apple and he smile and said oh yeah. And man was it sooooo good. So plump and juicy that’s when I learned it was a fruit not a vegetable. Uncle Joe was special to me after that, stern but fair and always looking to teach me something, and Aunt Bernice was sweet and gentle and always comforting me and my brother about our situation trying her best to not allow it to be that hard on us. I have to tell you this story that happen at this time. It still makes me laugh. My Dad was not there but was coming over to see us later that day. It had snowed so much the night before it was waist high to me and Fred my brother, which when we donned our snowsuits which made us walk like gingerbread men. I mean these suits were so funny that you could hardly enjoy the snow but we were not cold to say the least. Anyway Fred and I took off outside into this incredible winter wonderland and played and played and played. Like I said they had a few acres so it wasn’t like we didn’t have enough to play with between snowball fights and just trying to get around in them dumbass snowsuits. We decided and I will blame this on Fred, to go out of the fenced area of the property to go explore the woods and surrounding areas. Good plan really, the trees and snow where too much to resist with all how quiet and enchanting it was, yes I said enchanting. Get over it. So anyway we find a pond in the middle of the woods and again I will blame this on Fred, we wanted to go slipping and sliding on this pond. And man we had fun just two boys and snow world. It does not get any better than that. Well all of a sudden we here a great and scary sound. Dad!!!! And was he pissed. Because as we were lost in our winter wonderland and enjoying the time. We had lost track of time and had been gone for quite awhile. They are searching for us and when you have acres it becomes hard. Then only thing he was able to do was find our footprints where they left the yard which was quite the feat if you think about it because the yard was full of our footprints, it was not until he seen some leaving the yard he was able to at least track us to the woods. So you have a father who is seeking his lost children and finding them on an ice pond that come to find out later would probably not held our weight, So here he is in full blown mad, I mean angry times ten. He is across from us and demanding we come to him right now. Here where it gets funny, he is able to snatch my brother right away. And has him in the air, remember we are little people at this time so envision a giant with an elf. And is explaining all the things he is going to do to him back at the house. So me in my thought process decided to run for my life. And run did I, man I ran for all I was worth. My father yelling for me to stop and me thinking, oh no I am not, I look back and the sight of my brother in one hand of my father dangling helplessly in his grip my father yelling and me running through the snow. Quite the site really. My thought process was to avoid my father at all costs the problem is I knew I was going to run out of places to run to. And while that thought was so present in my mind I just had to continue to run. So I did. Right into the kitchen at Joe and Bernice’s finding aunt Bernice in the kitchen sitting having coffee or tea and me running and hiding behind her pleading with her to help me and so surprise at her reply sweetie there is nothing I can do for you. And I realized she was right. As my father stepped into the kitchen with Fred still dangling from his hand I knew my life was over. And yes there was a whooping involved and deservedly so. I found out two things that day. One stay and take the whippin and two my father was deservedly angry. His sons were lost and in danger and his concern for us was our safety, But it still is a great memory for me even with the whippin.
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